It was a strange Ash Wednesday for me this year.
True, I did spend the usual quiet evening hour in stillness and intermittent soft singing... but I wasn't at church. I was in a dark bedroom, trying to lull my strong-willed son into the sleep he so desperately needed.
Instead of ashes across my forehead I got scratch marks across my cheek. He's a fighter, this one.
I haven't been thinking about what I'll give up for Lent. I've been wavering between self-pity over the sacrifices of my current season and pure wonder at the joy of it.
I think I'll allow myself the creature comforts this Lent - facebook and coffee and such. Lord knows I'll have enough built-in loneliness and exhaustion in these 40 days. The task, then, will be to turn to Jesus in all of it -- to let it be a joining in his loneliness, his aching bones, his fear and confusion and desperation. He walked those roads to lead me in them if I'll let him.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
noticing
Noticing is a good habit, I think. It can be a remedy for self-obsession... unless, of course, you only notice things about yourself. :) Anyway, here are some things I've been noticing.
The light pink rhododendrons are blooming.
My boys, 27 months apart, are sharing clothes. (Can't decide how I feel about this.)
Reheated rice is not that great.
Board books hurt when they are chucked point-blank at the back of your head.
The grass is growing again.
My children are some of the most forgiving individuals I have ever met. Thank God.
The laundry needs to be folded.
The scent of newly-opened cherry blossoms can drift a long way.
Nothing important seems to happen when (or how) you think it will.
God knows what he's doing.
The light pink rhododendrons are blooming.
My boys, 27 months apart, are sharing clothes. (Can't decide how I feel about this.)
Reheated rice is not that great.
Board books hurt when they are chucked point-blank at the back of your head.
The grass is growing again.
My children are some of the most forgiving individuals I have ever met. Thank God.
The laundry needs to be folded.
The scent of newly-opened cherry blossoms can drift a long way.
Nothing important seems to happen when (or how) you think it will.
God knows what he's doing.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
they said it
---
Me: Dexter, are you all done with your cereal?
Dexter: You're a moose fur bagel dog!
---
Preschool Teacher: Wow, you're smart!
Dexter: Smarty, hearty, party!
---
[in the car, out of the blue]
Dexter: Only bees are on facebook.
---
---
Nate: Mommy, I kind of like that show that's not a kid show where the people sing and the three people watch them.
Me: Oh yeah?
Nate: Yeah. Is that in Hollywood?
Me: What?! You know what Hollywood is?
Nate: Yes, I know what Hollywood is.
[Duh, Mom.]
Me: OK, what is Hollywood?
Nate: It's when you get the yellow paper.
Me: [cracking up and remembering that I let him watch a few minutes of American Idol with me last week] Yep, you're right buddy.
---
[during prayers last night]
Nate: Please Jesus, help the people in Ethiopia have a good meeting so that Zeke can come home soon. Because I really want Zeke to come home soon.
[Amen to that, son.]
---
Thursday, January 20, 2011
in which i rant SNL-style about individualism and success-worship
I usually steer clear of parenting magazines, but the other day I grabbed a free copy of Parent Map at preschool. I picked it up for 2 reasons:
1. I just started reading a fascinating book called "Conceiving Parenthood: American Protestantism and the Spirit of Reproduction" and chapter 1 was all about the underlying messages about race, class, and culture in parenting magazines from their inception (around the 1920s) to now.
2. The cover story caught my eye; the title was "Are We Born Racist?"
The bulk of the story was what I expected: a surface-level treatment of racism, a "startling" revelation that the "color-blind" approach to racial differences is ineffective (duh), and some basic but helpful prompts for how to talk to different ages of children about race.
A bit superficial and behind the curve, but not offensive... until the last section entitled "Why It Matters." Here is a quote from that section of the article:
"Living in an increasingly diverse society - in any kind of multi-ethnic society -- if you hold intolerant beliefs or are fearful of the 'other,' that is going to be deeply stressful," says Marsh [Jason Marsh, author of a book entitled "Are We Born Racist?"]. "Research suggests that that kind of stress can take a toll on your psychological and physical health." ... Also, Marsh says, egalitarian people tend to have more successful careers.
And now it's time for a spin-off of my favorite Saturday Night Live skit, "Really?!!" with Seth & Amy.
REALLY, James Marsh and Parent Map??!! Really, that's why parents should talk to their kids about race and try to eliminate racial prejudice? Because otherwise THEIR precious little child might experience stress or an unsuccessful career? Really? I mean, obviously parents these days can't be bothered to think about how their child's racial ignorance might harm ANOTHER person's child, I mean that's just silly because who cares about other people's kids, right? I mean really. Parents these days just don't have the time and energy to teach their kids things like dignity, kindness, respect, humility, and decency... UNLESS it will also help their particular special child to achieve a less stressful and more sucessful life, because my child's PERSONAL INDIVIDUAL SUCCESS is all that matters, really!!!! Really.
OK I'm done. What do you think (really)?
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
go play
Last week Jon was off from work and we took the opportunity to engage as a family in the spiritual discipline of play. OK, so I've never seen 'play' listed as a spiritual discipline, but I think it should be. As far as I understand them, spiritual disciplines are practices which help us take on the person of Jesus Christ in our bodies and minds in order that we may be transformed more and more into his likeness. In my experience, this can happen when we study scripture, pray, fast, serve, confess, and yes -- play.
[These pictures are all from one epic day of play last week -- Lincoln Park, Vashon beach hike, hot chocolate stop at the cabin, and Bellevue Garden D'Lights.]
[These pictures are all from one epic day of play last week -- Lincoln Park, Vashon beach hike, hot chocolate stop at the cabin, and Bellevue Garden D'Lights.]
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
our christmas letter
This is the first year since getting married that we haven't sent out a Christmas photo/card/letter. Mostly because we will be sending out an adoption announcement when our son comes home (which we hope will be SOON), and I am way too lazy to send out that many cards twice!
In lieu of an actual letter, here is the blog version. Enjoy!
----
Greetings friends! We hope this letter finds you happy, healthy, and enjoying the season with the ones you love.
2010 was a big year for our family - we tried new things, went new places, met new people, and had our hearts opened, broken, and mended over and over.
Nate started kindergarten this fall and is absolutely loving it! His reading and writing are improving every day and currently one of his favorite pastimes is writing notes to me and leaving them around the house. This year he played T-ball and swam on the summer league swim team. Nate enjoys doing mazes, building train tracks, and playing with his best friend - his brother Dexter.
Speaking of Dexter, he is still cracking us up with crazy antics every day! His preschool teachers have a story for me every time I pick him up. He is still obsessed with Thomas the Train, but also loves puzzles, books, and sidewalk chalk. He gives the best hugs in town and enjoys snuggling with Mommy and wrestling with Daddy.
Jon continues to find his job satisfying and challenging. He regularly gets recognized at work for his great technical ability and strong leadership. I'd brag more but I don't want to embarrass him! He has been serving as an Elder at our church for the past year and a half, as well as leading a search committee to hire our new Director of Worship, Music & the Arts. He also still plays drums a few Sundays a month.
I have been busy as usual, especially since joining our church staff as the Interim Worship & Arts Coordinator last Winter. I planned worship services, coordinated our art gallery, and put together several special events throughout the year. I enjoyed this work, but am happily finished now that we have hired a new director. I still teach parent/child preschool classes once a week and participate in weekly women's Bible study, as well as singing in church regularly.
In October we traveled to Ethiopia as part of our adoption process. It was truly a life-changing experience and we plan to go back as often as possible. Our son, Eba Ezekiel ("Zeke") Ballast, was officially adopted into our family on November 15, 2010! We are now waiting for the US Embassy in Ethiopia to finish processing his visa and passport so we can bring him home, hopefully in early 2011.
God has been good to us and we are so thankful for his blessings, including many of you - our sweet friends and family. (And a shout out to any internet strangers out there too, thanks for reading!)
May the miracle of Christ's incarnation, the glory of his resurrection, and the hope of his coming kingdom fill your hearts with joy and peace this Christmas!
Love,
The Ballast Family
In lieu of an actual letter, here is the blog version. Enjoy!
----
Greetings friends! We hope this letter finds you happy, healthy, and enjoying the season with the ones you love.
2010 was a big year for our family - we tried new things, went new places, met new people, and had our hearts opened, broken, and mended over and over.
Nate started kindergarten this fall and is absolutely loving it! His reading and writing are improving every day and currently one of his favorite pastimes is writing notes to me and leaving them around the house. This year he played T-ball and swam on the summer league swim team. Nate enjoys doing mazes, building train tracks, and playing with his best friend - his brother Dexter.
Speaking of Dexter, he is still cracking us up with crazy antics every day! His preschool teachers have a story for me every time I pick him up. He is still obsessed with Thomas the Train, but also loves puzzles, books, and sidewalk chalk. He gives the best hugs in town and enjoys snuggling with Mommy and wrestling with Daddy.
Jon continues to find his job satisfying and challenging. He regularly gets recognized at work for his great technical ability and strong leadership. I'd brag more but I don't want to embarrass him! He has been serving as an Elder at our church for the past year and a half, as well as leading a search committee to hire our new Director of Worship, Music & the Arts. He also still plays drums a few Sundays a month.
I have been busy as usual, especially since joining our church staff as the Interim Worship & Arts Coordinator last Winter. I planned worship services, coordinated our art gallery, and put together several special events throughout the year. I enjoyed this work, but am happily finished now that we have hired a new director. I still teach parent/child preschool classes once a week and participate in weekly women's Bible study, as well as singing in church regularly.
In October we traveled to Ethiopia as part of our adoption process. It was truly a life-changing experience and we plan to go back as often as possible. Our son, Eba Ezekiel ("Zeke") Ballast, was officially adopted into our family on November 15, 2010! We are now waiting for the US Embassy in Ethiopia to finish processing his visa and passport so we can bring him home, hopefully in early 2011.
God has been good to us and we are so thankful for his blessings, including many of you - our sweet friends and family. (And a shout out to any internet strangers out there too, thanks for reading!)
May the miracle of Christ's incarnation, the glory of his resurrection, and the hope of his coming kingdom fill your hearts with joy and peace this Christmas!
Love,
The Ballast Family
Monday, December 13, 2010
room to breathe
You gave me room to breathe. --Psalm 31:8b, The Message
I have new space in my life and God is cramming blessings into every square inch of it. Mostly tiny happy things, small but much-needed reminders of my belovedness.
We took the boys to a local paved trail last weekend to give Nate some practice on his bike, sans-training-wheels. It was gray and cold and perfect: a wide-open path on a quiet Northwest morning. Unbeknownst to us there was a crowd of people nearby getting ready to participate in a 10K race along the same route. Just as we finished our ride and turned off the path to go back to our car, hundreds and hundreds of people streamed by us onto the trail we had just vacated. The first raindrops of a massive downpour began to fall; we bundled into the car and headed home.
Last night we left the kids at home with a babysitter and headed out for dinner and a concert. Easy drive, good parking spot, and no wait at our favorite Puerto Rican restaurant: fried plantains and pulled pork to die for. After dinner we walked a few blocks to the concert venue, and ran into the band we were going to see on the street outside (indie-folk duo The Civil Wars). Being a huge nerdy super-fan, of course I had to say hi and gush about how much I love them and how excited I was for the show! Inside we found seats in the front row still available, but within 5 minutes the place was packed. And the show... Ohhh, I am (almost) at a loss for words. Music makes me cry a lot, but it is usually because of what the song means to me. For only the second time in my life, music made me cry by the sheer beauty of it. A wonderful night it was.
The Civil Wars: Joy Williams and John Paul White
My new shirt
This morning I dropped both boys off at school and went home. Sat down. Drank hot chocolate. Read. Listened to my haunted iPod on shuffle (it plays the perfect songs at the perfect times to the point of creepiness). Had room to breathe.
[Also this morning? Drove Dexter to school twice - on our first try I went to get him out and realized he didn't have socks or shoes on. Oh, also dropped a mostly full glass jar of strawberry jam on the kitchen floor and it shattered. It happens.]
After school Nate grabbed his pad of paper and pencil (he's been on a writing kick lately, writing me little notes all day long).
In case you aren't fluent in Kindergarten spelling, it says "You are beautiful."
Thank you. Don't we all need reminding?
I have new space in my life and God is cramming blessings into every square inch of it. Mostly tiny happy things, small but much-needed reminders of my belovedness.
We took the boys to a local paved trail last weekend to give Nate some practice on his bike, sans-training-wheels. It was gray and cold and perfect: a wide-open path on a quiet Northwest morning. Unbeknownst to us there was a crowd of people nearby getting ready to participate in a 10K race along the same route. Just as we finished our ride and turned off the path to go back to our car, hundreds and hundreds of people streamed by us onto the trail we had just vacated. The first raindrops of a massive downpour began to fall; we bundled into the car and headed home.
Last night we left the kids at home with a babysitter and headed out for dinner and a concert. Easy drive, good parking spot, and no wait at our favorite Puerto Rican restaurant: fried plantains and pulled pork to die for. After dinner we walked a few blocks to the concert venue, and ran into the band we were going to see on the street outside (indie-folk duo The Civil Wars). Being a huge nerdy super-fan, of course I had to say hi and gush about how much I love them and how excited I was for the show! Inside we found seats in the front row still available, but within 5 minutes the place was packed. And the show... Ohhh, I am (almost) at a loss for words. Music makes me cry a lot, but it is usually because of what the song means to me. For only the second time in my life, music made me cry by the sheer beauty of it. A wonderful night it was.
The Civil Wars: Joy Williams and John Paul White
My new shirt
This morning I dropped both boys off at school and went home. Sat down. Drank hot chocolate. Read. Listened to my haunted iPod on shuffle (it plays the perfect songs at the perfect times to the point of creepiness). Had room to breathe.
[Also this morning? Drove Dexter to school twice - on our first try I went to get him out and realized he didn't have socks or shoes on. Oh, also dropped a mostly full glass jar of strawberry jam on the kitchen floor and it shattered. It happens.]
After school Nate grabbed his pad of paper and pencil (he's been on a writing kick lately, writing me little notes all day long).
In case you aren't fluent in Kindergarten spelling, it says "You are beautiful."
Thank you. Don't we all need reminding?
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