beloved

Update: For some reason, the video I embedded here doesn't have the pop-up text which makes it much more enjoyable to watch... So I recommend watching it on YouTube here.

Call me a sucker, but this video made me cry. It is 8 minutes long, so I will understand if you don't watch it (though I highly recommend taking the time to do so). The video is from a wedding reception where the 'Man of Honor' gives a musical-theater-style tribute to the bride, incorporating dozens of friends and guests in the song and dance. The whole thing ends in a chorus of "We love you"s sung and shouted to the bride, who (quite naturally) has completely come apart by this point.

I know that my strong reaction to this video was primarily because of the book I read this week, Life of the Beloved, by Henri Nouwen. In it, Nouwen identifies the word "beloved" as the most powerfully true word that can be said of us. It is what defines and identifies us in the deepest sense: we are God's beloved.

It's one thing to assent to that truth... but do we experience it? Do we listen to God's voice speaking those words to us in a personal way? Do we use our imaginations to picture what it means, what it looks like to be the beloved of God?

If you want to know what "beloved" looks like, watch the video. This girl is nothing if not beloved. Her closest friends and family are all gathered around her, lavishing their love on her in extravagant and shameless ways. And this is how we are loved by God. Can anyone out-do God in His love for us?

Watch the video, and know that you are beloved.

ready or not

Nate peeks out from his hiding place under pillows on the couch

The game 'Hide & Seek' was definitely invented by a mother of toddlers. It is the only game I have found that allows for full engagement with my kids while we play, and yet I can simultaneously do just about anything else I want, depending on the circumstances. Here are some examples:

1. Hide & Seek / Nap: When I am 'it', I count while laying in bed under the covers. Sure, I have to get up and find them eventually, but how long does that really take? 2 minutes? Then they are 'it' and I can go hide... under the covers, of course.

2. Hide & Seek / Housework: When I am 'it' I count while working (emptying the dishwasher, collecting dirty laundry, vacuuming, making beds), then take a 2 minute break from work to find the kids. When they are 'it', I hide wherever I can get work done: kitchen, laundry room, bedrooms, bathrooms - there's always some little chore to do in all those places while I wait for them to find me.

3. Hide & Seek / Computer Time: When I am 'it' I count while checking email, reading blogs, etc. When they are 'it' I sit at the computer while they count and then duck under the desk when they come to look for me.

4. Hide & Seek / Reading: Works like all the other examples, I just pick a quiet, out-of-the-way nook to read and periodically duck behind a door to avoid discovery, or get up to find the hiding boys.

So my deepest thanks to you, Mother of Toddlers and Game Inventor, whoever you are. You have given me hours of simultaneous productivity and quality time with my children.

halfway

Last Friday marked the halfway point between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday; we are just over halfway through the Lenten season. Lent has been pretty weird for me this year, but also good and healthy. Like eating your vegetables, knowing that dessert will be sweet. And yet, bittersweet too... but let's save that for another post.

I gave up Facebook for Lent. I know, in light of what most people in the world live without every day, giving up an online social networking tool might seem pretty lame. And to be honest, if you look at it that way, it is. But let's consider a few facts about Haley and Facebook:

1. Facebook connects people. Haley loves connecting with people.

2. Facebook allow for endless amounts of self-expression. Haley is addicted to self-expression (see also: this blog)

3. Facebook is a breeding ground for affirmation junkies. Haley is a (recovering) hard-core affirmation junkie.

4. Facebook sends you emails every time anything even mildly interesting happens. Haley loves email. (Yes, even boring Facebook email.)

So, as you can see, I had quite the love affair going with this online social networking tool. I did NOT want to give it up. But as good ol' Bill Shakespeare would say: ay, there's the rub!

Here's what I've learned at the halfway point.

1. I am still connected to people without Facebook. Rediscovering the lost art of the phone call.

2. People will survive just fine if they don't know the play-by-play of my day. They will get by A-OK without my fabulously witty (at least in my own supremely humble opinion) comments on their statuses, postings, and 'old school' pictures.

3. My life still has every bit as much meaning even if 500 of my peers aren't affirming my every move through comments and 'like this' thumbs up graphics. (What is up with that anyway? Bizarre, if you ask me.)

4. Not having a million emails flooding my inbox means less time at the computer, and more time on the floor playing with my kids or on the couch chatting with my husband. It even inspired me to finally unsubscribe to the 2 dozen e-newsletter (read: advertisement) lists that I have somehow ended up on over the years.

Good stuff. Now I'm going to go eat some vegetables and pray about how to break yet another addiction in my life: my love affair with ellipses and parentheses (they're just so darn useful...).

new words

Over The Rhine: Karin Bergquist and Linford Detweiler

March has been 'new music' month for me, mostly due to birthday presents, gift certificates, and 25 free downloads from eMusic. Here are some of my favorite lyrics from a couple of the albums I've gotten this month. (I made myself pick no more than one song per artist... very hard for a few of these.)

Over The Rhine
I won’t pray this prayer with you
Unless we both kneel down
I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around
Come on lighten up
Let me fill your cup
I’m just trying to imagine a situation
Where we might have a real conversation
But I don’t wanna waste the words
That you don’t seem to need
When it comes to wanting what’s real
There’s no such thing as greed
I hope this night puts down deep roots
I hope we plant a seed
‘Cause I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need
(I Don't Want To Waste Your Time)

Andrew Osenga
I'm easily distracted
Easily distrac-
By the pixels of lies and promises
There are too many punishments
I haven't given to myself thirty-nine lashes
For the easy distractions
You break the bread
You pour me wine
Here's my confession
I'm more than what I let you see
There's something burning deep inside you won't believe
There's a song you've never heard from me
It's beautiful
It's time I let the caged bird sing
(Staring Out A Window (My Confession))

Sara Groves
I can't just fight when I think I'll win
That's the end of all belief
And nothing has provoked it more
Than a possible defeat
We walk a while, we sit and rest
We lay it on the altar
I won't pretend to know what's next
But what I have I've offered
(The Long Defeat)

Derek Webb
You are the anti-curse
Death going in reverse
(The End)

Welcome Wagon
We nailed him to a tree
But he never said a mumblin' word
Not a word
Not a word
Not a word
(He Never Said A Mumblin' Word)

μακάριοι

My dad has been seeing kids of all ages in his office for 25 years and he once told that 18 months is his very favorite age. I have to agree. It is so amazing to watch Dexter's personality come out as he learns to communicate more. His new favorite word (which almost makes me want to cry, it's so sweet) is 'thank you.' Every time I give him something - food, a toy, or his precious Bear-Bear - he says, "Oh! Ank-oo Mommy!" I could eat him up.

The other fun thing about this age is the way his communication has become so much more interactive and conversation-like. A friend watched the boys for me this morning while I was teaching, and by the time I picked them up and got them home it was nap time. Dexter was laying on the changing table with Bear-Bear, grinning up at me while we had this conversation:

Dexter: Toby house!

Me: Yeah, you were at Toby's house. Did you have fun?

Dexter: Yeah.... Sam!

Me: Yep, Sam was there too, wasn't he? What did you do?

Dexter: Play!

Me: Oh fun... what did you play with?

Dexter: Ock-uh-bus!

Me: Ock-uh-bus? (Then, remembering a little octopus toy I saw at their house) Oh! Octopus! Did you play with an octopus?

Dexter: Yeah! Ock-uh-bus!

[At this point the conversation dissolves into tickles and kisses and giggles and all the best stuff about being this boy's mama.]

μακάριοι (makarios) = supremely blessed.

this and that

Here are a few Ballast family tidbits from the last week or so:

Dexter: We had his 18 month check-up yesterday, confirming what my biceps have known for months: our child is huge. 31 lbs, 34.5 inches, 95th percentile for both. When I texted Jon with the stats, this was his response: Time to start working on the three point stance. (That's a football reference for all you non-sports types.)

Nate: A few days ago we're in the car and, out of the blue, Nate says, "Mommy?" (Yes, Nate?) "I think we should get a new baby soon." I'm glad he's weighing in on these decisions! Relax people, no news. One more funny thing that came out of his mouth recently was "Phew, I'm glad that's over!" as he was walking out of the bathroom... Where does he come up with this stuff??

Jon: Just got back from 4 days in San Jose for SNUG, which is a big conference - a lot like SXSW. Except that one has music, art, film, celebrities, and parties, and one has lots of engineers talking about how to design digital hardware using Synopsys tools. However, both are four-letter acronyms for big events that happened this week that start with the letter S, so they're almost the same.

Me: Since my birthday a few weeks ago, I have been happily saturated in new books and music and art. I can hardly know what to read, listen to and look at first, but that is a great problem to have. Also, I chopped my hair off a few days after my birthday and I love it. Oh and finally, I can't find the camera right now (kinda freaking out) so all the pictures in this post are courtesy of the camera on our computer.



Now you're all caught up. :)

stumps and shoots

Stained glass art depicting Isaiah 11:1

If you're paying attention, you know that I have been somewhat obsessed with trees lately. Yesterday I posted a link to the album, Hope For a Tree Cut Down. That poignant phrase popped into my head when our (temporary/interim/associate/awesome) pastor referenced Isaiah 6 in a sermon recently. The chapter ends with Isaiah asking God how long he will preach this hard word he has been given, and God's answer is,

"Until the cities lie ruined and without inhabitant, until the houses are left deserted and the fields ruined and ravaged,

until the LORD has sent everyone far away
and the land is utterly forsaken.

And though a tenth remains in the land,
it will again be laid waste.
But as the terebinth and oak
leave stumps when they are cut down,
so the holy seed will be the stump in the land."

Sounds hopelessly depressing. Seeing as how I am obsessed with trees, there are few images more depressing to me than a stump. But in fact, if you keep reading, a beautiful hope emerges from this bleak image. Here is Isaiah 11:

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.

The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him—
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of power,
the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD -

and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.

Our God is in the business of making shoots grow from stumps, creating beauty from ashes, and bringing life out of death. He is doing this now; may our eyes be opened to see it.