Wednesday, November 4, 2009

full hands

Me and the crew (+2) headed to the park this afternoon.

"Wow, you sure have your hands full!"

If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that, I'd have at least $1.35, maybe $1.40. Not a lot of money, but it is a lot of times to hear strangers make uninvited comments about my life. Maybe this shouldn't bug me, but here are 3 reasons why it does:

1. The tone of voice is always one of pity, as in "Oh you poor thing." I don't need your pity. I am doing what I love: I am spending time with my children. OK, so maybe they just spilled a full bag of popcorn in the bottom of the cart at Target... I still don't want or need your pity, thanks.

2. When the tone is drenched in pity it makes me feel like that person is saying that this stage of family life is one that I'm expected to drudge through and just survive until the "easier" days of school-age or grown-up children. Why? This is the time in my children's lives when I get to see them the most -- when I get to eat, read, giggle, tell stories, sing songs, and play on the floor with them. Do I always feel like doing those things? No. But do I dread them or wish for this time to be over? Not for a second.

3. People say this to me when I only have my 2 boys with me (though I am often out and about with a few extra boys in tow - see above - and then I get even more strange looks and comments). This bugs me because we are planning to have at least one (or maybe two or three or...) more. What in the world will I have to put up with down the line when I am out with four or five little ones? "Yes, they're all mine... Yes, I'm serious.... Yes, we planned it that way."

I've been doing the smile and nod thing when I hear the "hands full" comment, but I think I'm going to start using a new response: Yes I do, and I am a very lucky lady! Because people are right -- I do have my hands full. But I wouldn't have it any other way.


HeatherV said...

well said! This IS the best time! I keep trying to hold onto it as much as I can, I wish they could stay this age forever! These little ones are such blessings!! You should definitely add the "and it is so great isn't it!" at the end when you get those comments! Too bad more people don't think the way you do! Your boys are so lucky to have a wonderful mommy like you!

Amy said...

Just wait until you get #3 home, then people will start thinking you run a daycare. I often get asked, "So, are you watching him, or..." when I go to the park. It isn't bad unless someone doesn't know when to stop with the commentary: "So, since you child was in an orphanage, do you think he's mentally, you know, behind?" Ugh.

Carissa Boyd said...

You're absolutely right, Haley. Full hands are a blessing! It's hard to imagine life with hands that are empty. (No thanks!) Enjoy those boys!

Sabrina said...

Hands full, quiver full...and if I recall, that's a blessing!
I have four of my own and I have countless neighborhood kids over all the time. I get comments GALORE.

nick and carina said...

Oh boy, let me tell you, I'd have a lot more money than that. And I feel exactly the same way you do. My new response is: "We love it!" Kids are a blessing - it's sad how many people don't seem to think so. Glad to see someone else put it into words! :)