Ever notice how it is a lot easier to talk about spiritual truths than it is to actually live them?
I was spouting out all kinds of fine-sounding words to a friend the other day (thanks for listening, Stephanie), explaining to her how I'm not holding on too tightly to any plans or dreams I have because I know God will fulfill them in His way, not mine, blah blah blah. Sounds great, good stuff, aren't I just so wise and wonderful.
A few days later something happened that, on the surface anyway, seems to have knocked one of my future plans off track. What was that you were saying the other day, Haley? Something about not being tied up in the details of how God will fulfill His vision for your life, about trusting that His version of your future is better than whatever you're envisioning?
So this is where the rubber meets the road, isn't it? We can talk real pretty about what it means to trust God, but there comes a point where talk is very cheap. If I trust God, then not only should my words reflect that, but also my thoughts, actions and reactions. Nor should my trust in God (reflected in word, thought and action) be subject to circumstances and conditions.
Trusting God means that I trust Him more than I trust my understanding of Him. I thought I knew what God was doing. I thought I knew what He had in store for me. But He is stopping me in my tracks and reminding me that knowing Him is far more important than knowing those things. Last night as I was having a quiet moment, drinking a Fat Tire and praying about this (yes, it is totally fine to pray and drink beer at the same time), I had a little conversation with God. It was very simple, but it helped a lot.
Lord, do you know my heart?
I do, my love.
Then I will rest in you.
Who knows what God is doing? I sure don't. But I know Him, and He knows me. That's all I've got, but thankfully it's also all I need.
My baby resting.